Send Jeff Green to the US Senate

Dear Friends,

I am taking time today to announce my candidacy for the US Senate seat being vacated by Hillary Clinton as she takes her position with the new incoming Administration. My only other announced opponent in this race is Caroline Kennedy.

The way I look at it, if a woman who virtually no one knows other than by virtue of her last name, smashing good looks and copious amounts of money can “run” for the seat, so too can a blue collar guy from Putnam County, NY. But I’m a better choice and here’s why:

Here are the benefits of sending me to the US Senate:

I’m an unknown and have no political affiliations or present loyalties meaning I owe no one anything, no favors and no paybacks. I come to office pretty clean. Rich people don’t get or stay rich by being “clean”.

I’m not a lawyer even though my mother wishes – to this day – that I was one. Do we really need another lawyer in the Senate? Are there any painters in the Senate? They need one.

I have a bit of a corporate background but am now working in a blue collar environment giving me experience in both worlds, worlds that my opponent probably only reads about in books and sees on TV. Has she ever climbed a 30′ ladder carrying a paint bucket? Has she ever crawled under a house to set traps for mice? Has she ever restarted a hot water heater or taped a wall? No. Does she have a clue what working men and women go through each and every day?

Ms. Kennedy is apparently heterosexual and the Senate is full of heteros. Do they really need one more?

I was raised in a conservative, eastern European Jewish-American household and there are very few Jewish US Senators. (I am not responsible for Joe Lieberman. Besides, he’s from a different sect.) Ms. Kennedy is the antithesis of Jewish. In fact, other than Baah’ston, she has no ethnicity. She knows about potatoes and cabbage but has she ever eaten a knish? Has she ever bought tacos from a roadside truck? Are beans and rice “trendy comfort food” or only what she can afford during hard times like the rest of us? Have Raman Noodles ever been an important part of her diet?

While Ms Kennedy is honorary chair of the American Ballet Theatre, I hang lights and run cables at a local arts center which is anything but honorary. While she’s off at Board Meetings in fancy hotels, I’m covered in dust, grime and dirt.

I’m poor and living at the edge of the poverty line. Ms. Kennedy’s doorman earns more than I do. There are no poor Senators and as such Senators really have no clue what it means to go month to month not knowing if you’re going to have a place to live or if you can afford to fix the car to get to work… if you have work. I’m sure Ms. Kennedy calls the driver and has someone take care of her expenses. Unemployment for her means spending an extra week at the beach house. Unemployment for me is a disaster, just like it is for you. Is there anyone in the Senate living month to month, paycheck to paycheck?

I have never owned a pony. Working class people do not own ponies. Working class people aren’t represented in the US Senate.

I am not the offspring of a President. When was the last time this nation had a working class President? (Note: the argument can be made that Barack Obama came from working class roots. If that’s the case, what better than a working class Senator allied with a working class President?)

I have no health insurance nor could I ever begin to afford it. How many US Senators can make that claim? How many Senators worry about getting sick or injuring themselves to the point that will leave them in debt or destitute for the rest of their lives?

I have foreign policy experience. I’ve been to Canada. Several times. More times than Sarah Palin and she was almost the Vice President. I’ve been to Spain and France and speak enough Spanish to know what people on the subway are saying about me and enough French to order Freedom Fries in a gité.

I’m a man of the people. I mix easily with artists and roofers, movie producers and plumbers, gas station attendants and postal service employees. Ms. Kennedy does too, but only as her limo passes them by. Don’t we have enough limo-riding Senators? How about one that drives a busted-up jeep for a change.

Having two Kennedys in the Senate smacks of nepotism.

It’s time to send a commoner to the US Senate and I’m urging you to support me, Jeff Green, to be appointed by Governor Paterson to the US Senate. You know I’ll be more fun than Ms. Kennedy and more attentive to the needs of the millions of working class New Yorkers… we’re just not part of her culture but we make up 99% of the population of the United States. Isn’t it time we had our chance? Isn’t it time someone represented us who was “of us”?

Email Governor Paterson and tell him to appoint Jeff Green to the US Senate. I am willing, able and excited about the prospect of being able to represent what no other US Senator represents – the people. The common, working class, average, run-of-the-mill citizen, those who are the backbone of this nation and who are regularly ignored by the ruling classes – though they’re quite happy to make us pay for everything.

It’s time to send a common man to the Senate and I’m the guy.

Email Governor Patterson now before he makes a mistake that will take years to undo. Tell Governor Patterson that Jeff is the man to represent New York.

Related posts:

1. News That Matters – December 17, 2008
2. Bank of America to Stop Financing Mountaintop Mining – Green Inc. Blog – NYTimes.com