News That Matters

! FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE !

October 18, 2010
NtM Network
Carmel, NY

In a stunning revelation, Putnam County’s most ‘out’ political figure was accused by an alleged staffer from the Nan Hayworth campaign of making accusatory slurs against himself based on his sexual orientation.

“Sunshine & Lollipops”, clearly a nom de plume said, “How dare you! say anything against the gay population.” when News That Matters publisher Jeff Green mentioned that being a gay Republican was akin to the term Jumbo Shrimp. He’s also been known to use other terms for the same comparison such as “military intelligence” and “Icy hot”.

In an interview later in the day Mr. Green said, “I’m not sure what her problem is. Perhaps the weather today was cloudy and the candy store was closed? Sunshine says she knows many business people who are gay so I must assume she’s in the interior design or the funeral business as many florists and wall paper experts are, in fact, homosexuals. I don’t actually know any, but I’ve heard.”

Mr. Green went on to say, “But it’s also possible she’s referring to the numerous closeted Republicans in Putnam County who really should step out to see if their party will welcome them with open arms but I’m guessing they know better.”

Ms. Sunshine also said, “I will contact Hall’s office and see if he cares for your nasty comments.”

A spokesman for John Hall’s office, who preferred to remain anonymous, said he’d not actually dated Mr. Green and so could not comment on the allegations that he hated himself but asked for his phone number in case he wanted to further explore the charges.

Mr. Green welcomed the investigation saying, “Do you know how hard it is to get a date in this county? With all those divorced Republicans running around you’d think a few would be interested in a little macho man-on-man action. Why, I’d let them watch FOXNews, championship wrestling and NASCAR on the TV while we’re playing with my gun. What’s not to like?”

Ms. Sunshine could not be reached for comment.

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